


Wishing I'd Realized

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Angst, Back to December AU, Bitter and Sad™ Lance, Keith is scared of falling in love???, Keith: the Taylor Swift we truly deserve, M/M, Miscommunication, Rating May Change, Sad lance, essentially an exes AU with a happy ending, established shatt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 03:18:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14511381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: They were built on dares and taunts, jokes and sly smiles before anything else, and during that time he’d spent away, Keith kept telling himself that that was all it was built on.He kept telling himself it was meant to fizzle out, that electricity. That it was smart that he left before he could feel it die.It’s disappointing how much he still feels it crawling under his skin.(Alternatively, Keith tries to convince himself he did the right thing by leaving Lance. On his journey to get over it all, however, he encounters the one person he'd been actively trying to forget.)





	Wishing I'd Realized

**Author's Note:**

> so.  
> this has been in my drafts folder since 2016 (big surprise), and edited june last year, so i thought that if i didn't post this now while i'm cleaning out my drafts, it would never see the light of day.
> 
> seeing as once upon a time i'd plotted this dumb thing so hard i popped an artery (not really), it felt like a complete waste to let it die unseen.
> 
> ergo, this first chapter!
> 
> i'm not sure how often i'll be updating this fic, given that this chapter is the only one i have written so far besides an unfinished second one and i'm absolutely terrible at keeping up with any schedule i give myself at all, but i want to see this to the end.

_-BEEP-_

 

_“Keith! What was that all about???”_

 

_-BEEP-_

 

_“Hey, it’s Lance. Look, whatever i may have done, I’m so, so sorry. Can you please call back? Let’s talk about it.”_

 

_-BEEP-_

 

_“Keith. It’s Lance. I miss you. Please call back. Im sorry.”_

 

_-BEEP-_

 

_“Keith, please don’t keep me in the dark like this. You’re scaring me.”_

 

_-BEEP-_

 

_“God, please call back, Keith.”_

 

_-BEEP-_

 

_“Keith this is Pidge. You better have a good explanation as to why Lance is a mess on my doorstep. I’m worried for both of you.”_

 

_-BEEP-_

 

_“Hey, Keith! This is Shiro! I was wondering if you’ll still be staying for the party. I know you’re having a hard time right now, and I know it’s best to leave you to yourself when you get like this, but our friends will be there, mom’ll be expecting you to be there, and both Matt and I would really love it if you came. If not, just know you can skype us any time. Love ya!”_

 

_-BEEP-_

 

_“KEITH…. WHAT DID I D-DOoo!! I LOVVve yOU I THought, you l..oVED ME YOU SAID IT!!! IM!!! BUrn..ing your fUCKING JACKET!!!”_

 

_-BEEP-_

 

_“Hey Keith! It’s Hunk! I just wanna ask why Lance is drunk and crying about you? Did something happen? He won’t tell Pidge and I anything… Call back as soon as you can, okay?”_

 

_-BEEP-_

 

_“Keith. This is Pidge. You better not leave like a fucking coward, and talk this out with Lance. Shiro said you’re going away for a while. AWAY. WHERE, KEITH. Lance hasn’t left my guest room except to get completely inebriated, and only THEN do Hunk and I find out WHY HE’S LIKE THIS. You better call back or I swear to fucking god i will drag your ass back here, roped to the back of Rover’s bumper.”_

 

_-BEEP-_

 

_“Keith. Call back. I… I love you.”_

 

_-BEEP-_

 

_[Messages Deleted]_

 

 

* * *

 

 

There’s something painfully nostalgic about the wind by the sea, even if he’s only ever been to the seaside at all about twice his whole life.

They weren’t really memorable moments, and the only reason why Keith did remember them was because he thought he _had_ to, simply to say he knew how the ocean looked outside of his old picture books.

 

 _Varadero is a beautiful place_ , he thinks, and stops his train of thought there.

 

He breathes in the fresh air, the feel of it sticky and tasted of brine, and took in the view the way he did when he was twelve and saw the horizon reflect on the vastness of the waters.

 

“Romantic,” he says sarcastically, the humor of the gesture lost with the lack of the company. A gust of wind slaps his face, shuffling his fringe right into his eyes, and he huffs as he draws his hand to swipe his hair away from his view.

 

There’s a weight in the pocket of his khakis, small, but half Keith’s load, and he sighs shakily as he draws it out. The metal feels warm on his fingers, though he hasn’t worn it for three years. He turns it around delicately, letting the light of the sunset catch on its surface.

 

The blue gem protruding from the metal is luminescent, glaring almost purple with the red of the sky, and Keith feels a pang of guilt go through his chest. _You have to do this_ , he tells himself. _This is what you came here for_.

 

_One move, and you’re free._

 

He then takes a deep breath, lifting his fist up to the sky, the ring in his hand, and draws his arm back, ready to throw. He lets out a yell, like a battlecry, to drown out his thoughts, the wind, the sea, everything. The wind is pushing back, like it knows what Keith is trying to do, like it wants him to stop, _think about what you’re doing, Stop_ , but he lets go as his arm throws,

 

and the ring is lost to the sea.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You know, that thing probably cost a fortune,” Shiro says, his voice muffled with grainy static through the speaker of Keith’s phone. “You could’ve maybe just went to the pawnshop?”

 

Keith doesn’t reply, leaves him with daunting silence, and Shiro probably thinks he’s offended him in some way, so he continues, fumbling.

 

“O-oh I mean, you know, I didn’t mean it like that, um,” Keith can hear his brother fuss through the other line, and he laughs a little to himself. He could let him know he wasn’t offended, but Shiro gave him the ‘Patience Yields Focus’ talk when he was working a shift in the department store the week before he left, so he’ll let him stumble a bit more.

 

“-I mean, you said you wanted to get rid of it right? And it cost us a lot just to get to Varadero, and um, I mean?? You could have just taken a vacation with the money, you know? I mean, god, what am I saying, that was your engagement ring, of _course-”_

 

He stops him there, just a bit afraid of what Shiro might’ve said next.

 

Just a bit.

 

“-It’s fine Shiro, really. This was, you know, a clearing thing. To get it off my mind. God knows it’ll only make me feel worse selling that thing.”

 

“Right, of course, yeah.” Shiro breathes, a bit relieved, and Keith gives in and laughs.

 

“What?? I was just worried, okay!” his brother exclaims loudly, making Keith laugh even more. Shiro huffs through his receiver, annoyed but fond. “Alright, you heartless squirt, where do I pick you up?”

 

Keith ponders for a moment, wondering if he wanted to leave the beach and go somewhere Shiro would find him easier. But if his brother will be picking him up, why does he need to compromise anyway? What are brothers for, if not to lovingly piss each other off?

 

“Just pick me up here, by the beach.” He confirms, and Shiro sighs heavily, making Keith chuckle again.

 

“Don’t worry, Shiro. I can wait here until the sun goes down. The view is beautiful anyway.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

As the Camaro parallel-parks across the street to Keith’s old favourite ice-cream joint ( _the branch here is much cleaner than the one at home_ , Shiro said, _you’d love it_ ), the bumper hits the front of another car, and they jolt noisily in their seats as Shiro’s car shakes post-contact. Keith gives his brother a look, the same one he gives him when Shiro makes a joke he thinks is absolutely hilarious and laughs his lungs out while everyone else just stares in confusion. Shiro glares back.

 

“I thought you were supposed to be an ace at driving,” Keith says dryly, breaking the momentary silence.

 

“I AM-”

 

“at driving planes.”

 

“-AT-- YEAH, I- I MEAN NO NOT JUST, OH SCREW YOU KEITH.”

 

Keith snorts through his nose, and he giggles until it grows and he’s practically hacking up a lung from laughing, and Shiro, despite himself being the subject of humor, ends up laughing with him with just as much gusto.

 

They cackle for about a solid 15 minutes, reasons completely lost as every single small thing they bring up and remember makes them start a new round of snickering. They end up laughing about old things, from their childhood days, when Shiro brags his skills and crashes his 2 day old bike into a tree, to the newer times when Keith makes a competition out of driving past a red light.

 

Keith laughs so hard he inhales too much and pukes out the side of the car, and Shiro laughs louder, ending up choking on his own spit, and the laughter dies down to chuckles and wiping the tears from their eyes.

 

Once they’d finally settled down, Shiro fixes his gaze on Keith, partially amused, partially calculating.

 

“So what’s got you so… loose today? You haven’t laughed like that in forever,” Shiro asks with a glint in his eye. Keith can’t tell what it means.

 

Silence then fills the car, heavy like a ill-kept secret, the light feeling vanishing completely.

 

Everything is weighing down on him again, like the very atmosphere is smothering him in regret. He sighs, mood suddenly dampened. Shiro probably noticed that, but he keeps quiet, silently urging him on.

 

“I don’t know, I should feel.. released? I mean i thought I would. It felt like it did when I was at the beach,” Keith’s chest is heavy with an indistinct feeling, sobered. “Now I feel… _hysterical_. And empty.”

 

Shiro nods in understanding, the silence still thick, the air freezing, even with the heater still running. He lands a hand firmly on Keith’s shoulder, reassuring, and gives him a soft smile. “You know, It might just be some leftover guilt in there.”

 

Keith wants to argue against that, but he’s too tired, and he knows where Shiro’s going with this, at least. He could go for a little spoiling once in a while.

 

“You know what could fix you up? A good ol’ banana split,” Shiro continues, a grin growing on his face. It’s infectious, and soon enough he has Keith smiling, in a less melancholic, more genuine way.

 

Keith snorts, remembering one tiny detail.

 

“You might want to fix up that car we just collided into before you try to fix me.”

 

“Shit. You’re right.”

 

They shuffle out of the car to see the inflicted damage on the other vehicle, and Shiro’s face morphs into a pained grimace.

 

“Ohhoh, no. That does not look good.”

 

Keith gulps in some air. _It definitely isn’t good._

 

The car they’de bumped into was faded blue and rustic-looking. It was nice, would’ve looked really great in a roadtrip-themed commercial,

 

were it not for the gigantic dent on the hood.

 

“I’m screwed Keith!! We’re screwed!!! Who even owns this car???”

 

“How do you think I know??!?”

 

“I DON’T KNOW?? JUST?? WHAT DO WE DO??”

 

“I DON’T KNOW?? YOU’RE THE OLDER SIBLING HERE??”

 

“EXCUSE YOURSELF, I’M LIKE, 6 YEARS OLD??”

 

“STOP USING THE LEAP YEAR THING TO GET OUT OF SITUATIONS!!”

 

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY CAR?!?”

 

The two siblings snap to the sound of the new voice, evidently furious and confused. Keith can’t clearly make out the stranger’s face, so he steps towards them slowly, ready to apologize for this whole mess. The stranger is angrily stomping his way towards them, and Shiro puts on his best diplomat face.

 

“Sir, we’re terribly sorry-”

 

“Damn right you should be sorry! That was my baby you crashed into!”

 

Keith sighs and brushed his fringe away from his face. “Look sir, we-”

 

The stranger comes into the light of the lamp post, and Keith’s thinking process comes to a complete stop.

 

It feels like the whole world stops, and Keith’s heart beats so loudly he feels it trying to escape his throat. He stares at the man’s deep blue eyes, almost black in the night, and he should have fucking _known_ going to Varadero Beach was the worst idea he’s had his whole life.

 

The man under the lamp post also stops, suddenly visibly shaken, and contrasting to his earlier demeanor, his voice becomes uncertain, shaky, and says “Keith” like a word he hasn’t uttered in years.

 

( _he probably hasn’t)_

 

The worst part about this is that when he utters Keith’s name, Keith still feels it down to his toes, reverberating throughout his whole body, and he _wishes_ he stopped feeling this way.

 

Shiro is the first to break the silence.

 

“Lance?”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you thank you SO much for reading this fic, and I hope you'll stick with me for the whole length of it!
> 
> comments and kudos are super appreciated and will probably provide me with enough serotonin to reanimate my catatonic physical body thank you very much
> 
> (P.S. forgive me for the leap year baby shiro joke; i know it's been overused to the point of no return, but after i edited this fic and came to that particular part i felt nostagic and decided to just keep it there, cringe be damned.)


End file.
